I don't know if I can stop laughing long enough to stop the tears flowing through my eyes to type this report. But here goes ...
Jimmy Durante once said "Everybody wants to get into the act!" And the steroid era is no different. Matthew Mitchell, no relation to George but maybe to Dennis, is suing the Yankees for $221 — the exact amount he paid for tickets to five of the games he attended between 2002 and 2007. His claim is filed under "failure to provide goods paid for."
Well the newly discovered Matthew Mitchell is looking for his Andy Warhol 15 minutes of fame. He actually attended a game at Yankee Stadium in which Barry Bonds hit what the younger Michell says was a enhanced home run. Therefore he was sold tickets under false pretenses. So his claim is for $221.00! That would be for only five of the many Yankee games he has attended over the years. And those games, just about $44 plus dollars a game. I assume he is suing for his own ticket, I can't imagine him having anyone wanting to go see a game with him.
While your at it why don't you sue the Daily News for 25 cents for reporting the tainted home run. Heck you can multiply that 750 plus times. Well at least the last 200 or so were after he allegedly started using the steroids. Sue the coke vendor for selling you a luke warm soda that he claimed was ice cold. That would ad up to more than $221 for sure. And what about the hot pretzel guy, did anyone ever get a HOT pretzel from a stands vendor? Why stop there you can sue MAD Magazine, was 35 cents really cheap in those days? Sue the Post Office what about all those letters that were sent to the North Pole? You can even sue Frank Perdue, those tender chickens that that tough man made were definitely enhanced.
This the most ridiculous suit since the McDonald Coffee incident. A real insult to the judicial system and a waste of our time and the courts money. What kind of lawyer would even take this case? This is just too ridiculous. That is why it is small claims court. The Yankees have declined to comment, with a hearing scheduled for Feb. 20 in small claims court. Matthew Mitchell has pledged not to attend any Yankees games this year. What a shame?