Sunday, December 25, 2005

HAPPY HOLIDAYS BOMBER BUDDIES

I would like to wish all you baseball fans out there a very Happy Holidays. We did get an early present in the form of newly shaven Johnny Damon. Like Larry Bowa, I would have liked to get him a little sooner. Imagine if we signed him when we signed Giambi and held on to Tino and groomed Nick Johnson as our regular first sacker. Bowa I would have loved to have at SS in his career. Feel sorry for Bubba Crosby tho.
WELCOME BACK BERNIE
Bernie Williams begins his finalee in pinstripes as a 4th OF/DH. Who knows what will happen if he does well in that role.
Hope you all get what you want this Holiday season. here's hoping all your hits go for extra bases.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

OUTSIDE LOOKING IN

By Special Guest Blogger Kyle Reagan

Some thigs have been bothering me lately...some things have made me laugh...I want to share both,

1. Hideki Matsui, great guy, great player, glad we got him and glad we extended him. I love you Hideki, I really do...but when I checked my Japanese-to-English dictionary I found that "Hideki" in english means "face that will knock a buzzard off a shat wagon." Before he gets nominated that guy from "Lost" ...

2. Gonna be magical next year...sometime in early April Jason Varitek will catch a strike three and standup to throw the ball around the horn. He will throw a one-hopper to Mike Lowell that will bounce off his glove and roll into left field where it will be fielded by Gabe Kapler who will throw it into Lowell who will turn and sail one over Mark Loretta's head into right field where Trot Nixon will be totally unaware of what is going on while he tries to count to 13 with his shoes and socks on (he ignores Dave Roberts- the centerfielder's yells)...Loretta will jog out, pick up the ball and throw it over to Alex Gonzalez who will have it fall out of his glove on the transfer but will pick it up and throw it over Youkilis' head into the 5th row of seats behind first base...gonna be magical. Varitek (with the "C" on his shirt) will yell out "look alive guys, c'mon!" Somewhere Theo Epstein will smile...

3. Peter Gammons was on ESPN and commenting on the Sox dumping Rent--a-Wreck for a prospect. In his always-pro-Sox stance he said (with a straight face I might add) "The Sox were worried Renteria would never get comfortable and people have said that Marte, if he was a Junior in college would be a first round pick" Did someone slip a "mickey" into Peter's Fruit Loops? The guy has stopped even trying to make sense at this point. I fully expect him to yell out "Gridlock!" during a Sportscenter, ala General Stockdale.

4. Dick Vitale is back on my TV...this is the year I pull an "Elvis" on my TV- I swear. Shut the F up about "diaper dandies" and "windex teams"...oh, and St Louis beating up on Vanderbilt isn't "Awesome with a capital A" OK...Dick (a more appropriate name there could not be)

5. I laughed when the Blue Jays signed Burnett and Ryan to 5 year deals and then announced JP Ricciardi was given a 3-year extension...in other words, if these deals are exploding our face we will can your boner-nosed ass. It reminds me of politicians who always seem to come up with 5 year plans when their terms are 4 years...

6. I saw Keith Foulke on a milk carton the other day...$100 reward for any information leading to his whereabouts.

7. Expecting Bernie Williams to tutor Bubba Crosby is like asking Beethoven to teach Ozzy Ozborne the cello. I do think it is cool that the only guy named "Bubba" within 1000 miles of New York City is our CFer...

8. Why do place kickers wear shoulder pads? Jay Feely should be forced to wear a cheerleaders outfit. I don't hate too may people on my favorite teams...but I hate Jay Feely...the Chuck Knoblauch/ Mackey Sasser/ Steve Sax of place kicking.

9. Johnny Damon says he'll cut his hair and shave his beard to play with the Yankees...how bout you drop the "ny" from your name and cut your hair cuz you're 32. That is reason enough.

10. Javier Vasquez says he doesn't want to come back to the Yankees because of the way he was treated. How bout this Javy...we don't want you back with the Yankees because of the way you were treated (like a fricking BP pitcher!!!)

11. Jason Giambi will be dominant this year- an offensive force. But somebody has to explain to me why a guy who is in the top .05% of the human population as a hitter, runs like he has bleeding corns on the heels of his feet and throws like he's a finalist in an egg toss challenge. Hang a freaking tire off a branch in your backyard this Winter and throw baseballs through it, will ya. Call Goodad for advice.

12. The Reds say they will use Tony Womack in a "super utility" role...its unfair for me to judge... but the words "Womack" and "super" should never, ever be in the same sentence...unless that sentence is "Womack was a super disappointment with the Yankees." Just kidding, Tony was a class guy who never got the chance to do what he thought he could- but the torture we laid on him this year doesn't make up for the BS bloop double in the 01 World Series. Plus, why was his helmet so big? He looked like Rick Moranis in "Space Balls" as Lord Dark Helmet.

13. I want John Damon...OK, there I said it. 4 years, 5 years- whatever...get it done Cash...and defer 06 money until Sheff/ Mussina comes off the books...

14. I want Nomar (Garciapara)...that's been no secret...play him in RF and DH Sheff...

15. WE make those last two moves and our lineup just became...ready for this...Damon (will hit 20 in Yankee Stadium)Jeter (mechanically perfect)AROD (MVP)Giambi (see note #11)Sheff (unless he shanks Cashman in the shower will be great- again)Matsui (ugly...but great)Nomar (batting 7th? doesn't seem fair)Posada (try to hit into less than 2500 double plays this year)Bernie (did Mickey mantle ever bat 9th?)I will go to bed with that in my head...

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Friday, December 02, 2005

FLASH IN THE PAST

If there is going to be any flash in the 2006 Yankees roster it won't be in the guise of John "Flash" Flaherty or Tom "Flash" Gordon. So after leading the majors in Flashes the Yankees suddenly find themselves flashless. John has retired and Gordon has gone the way of WC Fields and wound up robbing the Phillies of a 3 year contract for his burned out arm.

Joining the Bombers this coming season is RHP Kyle Farnsworth who agreed to a three-year contract through 2008. In 2005, Farnsworth went 1-1 with 16 saves and a 2.19 ERA. He struck out 87 batters in 70 innings, holding opponents to a .180 average in 72 appearances. Now if he can bounce back from his NLDS blow up he can be the perfect set up for Mariano Rivera.


Let's hope Farnsworth doesn't go the route of another Braves releiver Mark Wohlers. Like Kyle Wohlers gave up a rather monumental post season homer to Jim Leyritz which even Leo Mazzone couldn't snap him out of. Farnsworth gave up a pretty big grand slam in last year's post season. Wohlers never was the same again.

BACKSTOPPERS
The Yankees filled one of the holes on their roster on Wednesday, signing free agent Kelly Stinnett to replace Flaherty as the team's backup catcher. Stinnett signed a one-year deal for $650,000 to become second banana to Jorge Posada. The move is only the second free agent signing of the offseason for the Yankees, who re-signed Hideki Matsui to a four-year deal in mid-November to a reported 50 million.

BUBBA-LICIOUS
Bubba Crosby may very well roam the confines of the spacious centerfield at Yankee Stadium. With a little help from hitting coach Don Mattingly Bubba could make the fans stand up and cheer after his 400 batting average in September. Don't count Bernie Williams out just yet as he could catch on as a fourth outfielder and part time DH.